Our 'Burn' Voyage

The visit to Civil Hospital had to be shifted to L.G. Hospital, yet another government hospital which specializes in treatment of the burn-victims. As Dr. Vora put forth, there's no one to visit those patients. There're already volunteers who visit the Cancer Ward and Paraplegia Ward apart from the days that we used to. So he asked if we could shift to burns ward and pay a little attention to patients over there. I immediately got stirred up and felt that this is what we should be doing. No doubt we're used to our regular visits to Civil but better pay a li'l attention to those who are getting none.

Due to personal reasons, I had to miss my first visit. But yesterday I got a chance to go there. The burns ward has been newly built in the hospital by an N.G.O called Samvedna and they've made it as good as any private hospital. It's plush, has got all modern amenities, aesthetics have been properly taken care of to provide soothing conditions to the patients out there. Cleanliness is fully maintained. We had to remove our original footwear and were given slippers from the hospital staff to be worn around in the premises. The floor manager was really happy to see us there. He made sure he stuck around with us throughout. He was trying to provide the smallest of details regarding any doubts that we would or could possibly get.

The very first ward was the female ward. There were 4-5 patients out there. Most of them suffered burns between 25% to 45%. But what really caught my attention was that each and every female had almost the same story to tell us. Either she got burnt while cooking food, while igniting the primus, while roasting chapatis or papad or because of some or the other reason near the stove. After the fourth bed, I was sure that it was all made up. I told Priti that something's fishy out here. Then came two kids. one was 2 & a half months old. His name was Rahul. Right side of his face was severely burnt. Her mother had problem conversing in all possible dialects we tried initially. Finally she spoke some kind of Gujarati, still I don't exactly know how did he get hurt. But it really was a miserable sight to imagine how such a small kid would have taken it all. His eyes were alright. Only the cheek area was burnt. No vital organs had been hurt and the burns were rated 6%. The other kid was 2-3 years old. He fell down on the stove from his mother's lap while she was cooking. He suffered major burns all over his body. The sight of strangers intimidated him and he was like, shoo them away. So without making him cry more, we left his bed. Skin drafting had been performed on him and doctor had said that he'd recover soon if things go well.

There was only one male patient. His condition was still favourable for recovery. When asked by Yesha what all happened, and how things were at home, he started crying. Here's his story: His wife was trying to ignite the primus. The stove was on, and without realizing that, she tried to fill in the kerosene. And there was a sudden blast and she caught fire. He jumped onto her to douse the flames. When relatives rushed in, they didn't notice his condition and immediately took his wife to the hospital. Later on, his condition was brought to light and even he was admitted in hospital. His wife expired a week back and he had been brought to the hospital for the second time. Skin drafting had been completed and he was to be kept in the ward till his wounds would dry up. He was really desperate to go home as his kids were alone. Whoa!! That was.... I don't know. How the hell do you comfort such a person?? What can you tell him at such a point of time?? Nothing actually!!! No words of encouragement can work at such times. I still don't know what to say. Even when I think of him now, I get unnerved.

Then came the turn to go to the I.C.U. That's the place where the most extreme or fresh cases are brought to. There were two patients, both females. The first one yet again had the same old story. Burnt while cooking tea. Who the hell cooks tea at 1 'o clock in the night?? Yup! That's the time when she was brought to the hospital by her husband. Not brought, actually dumped. He wasn't seen since then. Her parents came the other day and since then, they are with her. She was the patient in the entire premises with the maximum amount of burns. 69%. The entire body was covered up in dressing. She said she felt like drinking cold juice. She felt really uncomfortable from within. But then after skin drafting, a patient is not allowed to eat or drink anything for the next 48 hours. So there was nothing we could tell her except to wait patiently and keep up the fighting spirit. All we could tell her that soon she'd be fine if she really cooperates. Then we moved on to the last patient. She was asleep and her guardian wasn't present in the room at that point of time. So couldn't get to know anything about her.

So, we were done with all the patients. Mr. Hiten Pandya, the floor manager, took us to the conference room. He called in the doctors on duty and we had a chat session. He said we could clear any doubts that we had in our minds at that point of time. My only doubt was with regards to the stories all those women were putting forth. I straightaway asked the doctor, "How many of these female patients were actually telling the truth?" She said, "None!!!" All the female patients are suicide victims or victims of dowry extraction and in-laws-torture. They all cooked up almost the same story to avoid any harm to their husband's family and also because they were to get alright and would have to go back and live with their in-laws again. They all mostly belonged to lower class of society and so separation or a divorce was considered a very big stigma or blot on the reputation of the family and the character of the female herself. The girl's parents themselves, in many cases, were not ready to take back their daughters due to the fear of society. The poor females had to either bear the brunt of the in-laws' dissatisfaction and end up getting abused physically and in the worst cases, as were in the hospital, getting burnt up. If not, the female herself would get so exhausted of the circumstances that she herself tried to commit suicide.

I for one, personally feel that committing suicide is the worst thing one can do. It's a path chosen by cowards. Maybe you have really big problems, but still they are not impossible to deal with. I've seen women from that stratum of society fighting for their rights, even though they are not even aware of the legal ways to go about it. Doesn't the person who tries to commit suicide even care for the loved ones he/she'll leave behind?? People to whom he/she truly means the world?? If that person does, then what is it that still forces him/her to take such a step??? I dunno, but I feel if not for yourself, but the thought of your family should stop you from taking such a step. It's a controversial topic. Maybe all of you might not agree with me, but that's my view put forth.

Anyways, even if a person sees no alternative but to commit suicide, then also, committing a suicide by burning oneself, not being successful in the attempt and then end up getting admitted to the hospital is even worse than death. If the burns are severe and deep, there's very little the doctors can do. The internal organs if burnt up, turn septic and they smell awful. The stench is so bad that many a times, the relatives don't want to come and sit besides their own kin. I wonder how the hell can you take all that as a burn victim. And yes, if the internal organs are damaged, the chances of survival are as good as the chances of finding a pin in the haystack. I guess you could even succeed in the latter. To bear all that pain, the smell, the regular dressings, to see your own wounds regularly, to realise the fact that you still have to live and the burn marks are here to stay forever, that there shall be no growth of hair on the damaged skin, that you shall look like an albino all your life, and again you'll have to go and face the world outside from which you were wanting to do away with when you went ahead with the ghastly act; all of this would take away all the fighting spirit you need to tackle the phase and survive.

If you really wish to end your life (which I'm still against), then there're other ways, which are sure-shot. Try those. But don't try getting yourself burned and put yourself and your relatives in the most awkward and testing situations. The plight of the victims gave me a weak stomach for the first time. It happened when I entered the I.C.U. and met the first patient, the one who had 69% burns. That was the time I really felt I might not be able to take it. After seeing all this, you just wish you never have to be a victim of any kind of burn-injuries.

The hospital also had psychic cases wherein the patient was mentally ill and tried to burn himself/herself on a couple of occasions. The last patient, the one in the I.C.U whose relative was not present in the room, turned out to be one such case. We asked the doctor if there's any provision of psychiatrists for such patients. Also, how much did the hospital spend on every patient, how much were the patients charged. It turns out that if a patient stays within the corporation limits of the city, then atleast 50% of the expense is borne by the government. Sometimes even more, depending on the economic condition of the family. And if during the treatment, the patient dies, then the government doesn't charge a single penny. The family's then allowed to claim the body by finishing off with further formalities as soon as possible, unlike private hospitals, wherein, until they don't receive a fax from the insurance company, they wouldn't let the relatives claim the dead body. Then the hospital doesn't care how long it takes. Also, the regular dressing costs 150 to 200 bucks per patient, and the daily phsyio sessions, extra. The government is doing a fairly good job in looking after these people I must say.

We tend to generalise the notion that government in India is good for nothing, and doesn't do anything to help the weaker sections of the society. But after visiting such places, your view changes. There're some places, if not all, where the government is really spending a lot of money in taking care of its people and providing them with utmost care and attention. And the hospitals are one of those places. There are other examples where the government has shown that it is striving to work for its people. One being freeing the farmers of the loans, on a nationwide scale. Second being the construction of an array of shops on a vacant land nearby my place, where the government puts up exhibitions every now and then, by inviting all the skilled craftsmen and handicraft workers to showcase and sell their products, without charging any rent for those shops for the entire duration. This is done just to encourage their business, to keep it alive, and to make sure that they can earn decent money to provide their families with more than just square meals a day. There're many more if you set out to find them. That fills you with some kind of optimism, that things are improving at some level, even though some things haven't changed till date in the functioning.

But, by looking at the state of the art hospital, the ultra modern facilities, and the passion shown by the doctors who work there, I can surely say that the government is trying to improve its image in the minds of the commoners like us. We shall be back again next saturday, for our regular visit, as we listen to more of the mysterious tales, or as put by Kavita, "Ms.-terious Tales."

The Day Today - Take "Mine"

Today I signed in to actually write something, but now that I've sat down to write, nothing great's coming to my mind. But nonetheless, I'm gonna write something here today. He heh. Well, had a not-so great day in the morning. Went for an unfortunate off-campus recruitment process. And as luck has had it so far, it really doesn't like to stick with me in some circumstances, one being these entrances, it didn't. Came back home dejected after a great show again. Got words of encouragement and support from Vivek to keep me going. That helped man. Since Kavita and he knew about it, they kept calling at frequent intervals to check what's the update. (Thanks a lot for that!! Genuinely keh raha hoon, no sarcasm intended) Talk about caring friends. That's where luck has decided to stay me for a long time. (Touch wood) Whew!!! One good place for it to stay as well. :) Went to sleep for while. Watched Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King to recharge myself. Yup that movie works wonders for my mood and emotions. It's like "It Gets Better With Every Watch!!"

Was a bit recharged by evening, but still, not in a mood to really socialize. But still, was anticipating a great time at Shweta's (one of our very good friends) treat. She got selected in NMIMS. Something to cheer about at the end of the day. :) It was a fun evening, had a great time torturing others with my usual doses of high-level hathodas. What made me really happy was that I couldn't believe I got myself off from the isolation-preferring, unhappy and sour mood and was able to lift myself up to the level of making others feel that I'm doing really great. Wow!!! I wish I can carry on with that. It's not like I did that for the first time, but whenever I can manage to pull it off after really bad and testing times, it kind of helps me actually lift my mood from within. Something (unexplainable) from within gives you that feel-good feeling of being able to do something worthy atleast at the end of the day. With that happy feeling, I'm off to sleep now. Really hoping for some miracle to happen in the days to come and take me sailing comfortably through some troubling times that are going on right now with regards to a few aspects in life. Well, hope's not lost. It never will. Optimism keeps me going, and LOTR just helped me refuel myself today with it by heaps and bounds. :) Signing of for now. Later!!!

Friendship - Ocassional Jadedness

Does one ever feel that sometimes, too much of being together in friendship is really bad ??? Well I, for one, do. It's great that we always think of our friends when we want to spend free time of ours or look forward to spend a great time, or maybe sad times as well. But too much of time spent with your friends in some circumstances can sometimes lead to excess. And it happens with both new friendships and really old friendships.

When I talk about new friendships, it's when you meet someone new, you start understanding them really well, and you do that task so well that the other person starts expecting a lot out of you. He/she thinks that you can turn out to be his/her best friend because you're understanding them on a level, maybe no one else could so easily. But you, on the other hand don't feel that connection happening, even though you really do understand the person. That builds up lot of expectations you know you won't be able to fulfill. And in turn, you feel bad and indirectly responsible for raising the bar. You've nothing against that person, yet you know that you don't wanna go that fast in the relationship building, but the other person is hurrying you up. That's one of the most difficult situations to tackle. A direct show of disinterest can lead to you looking like one of those fake persons who really was never interested and you're just one of those hard-hearted people who don't understand others' feelings. A tough situation to handle man!!!

With old friends, it's when you know they are going through a rough patch and so you're the one they'll turn up to look for comfort and peace. It's not that they'd talk about their problems but they would wanna spend time with you. They'd be really irritated, or frustrated and may take it all out on you, yet you take it calmly knowing the fact that it's not meant for you and it's good that he/she's letting it out. But if this continues for long (really long) time, then even you get tired of taking it all silently just for the sake of friendship. I mean you understand their viewpoint yet you're full to the brim of your capacity to take it anymore. You know you can't tolerate it anymore. Yet you don't want to tell your friend that this is the case, because you know he's looking up to you for support and peace. You then start to avoid his company or avoid talking to him, just because you're now irritated and you don't want him to become your victim, because you already know his situation. But at the same time, you're helpless because neither you can tell him so, nor can you take it out on him, even though he as a friend should understand your position. But on the contrary, if he really understood your position since day 1, then he would have made sure that he doesn't make you the object of his anger and irritation, but rather try to talk it out to you.

A Catch-22 situation??? I'd say so. And also, there's no simple solution to clear yourself right out of either of them...

An Excerpt from Ratatouille

This is the review of Anton Ego in the movie Ratatouille after he tastes the dish, 'Ratatouille', made my Remy, the rat. Of course it's a fairy tale but the essence of the paragraph has very much of a relevance in reality as well. A wonderful approach to the conventional mode of critics' way of working, their follies and what should be their actual job. A must read for everyone.

"In many ways the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgement. We thrive on negative criticism which is fun to write and to beat. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so.

But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in discovery and defence of the 'New'. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The New needs friends. Last night I experienced something new, an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my pre-conceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core.

In the past, I've made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto, 'Anyone Can Cook.' But I realize, only now I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau's, who is, in this critic's opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I'll be returning to Gusteau's soon, hungry for more."

Two Worlds!!

For some reasons, our visits to the Civil Hospital got reduced to only visiting the Paediatric Cancer Ward. For the past two-three visits, that had been the case. And to an extent, it left me feeling incomplete. It's not that I didn't enjoy meeting the kids, not that it had become monotonous or that the process process didn't enlighten me. It did. There're a few realizations that come to facts only after meeting the cancer-affected kids. But yes, I did miss the visit to the Paraplegia Ward. There's a certain quality of attraction that ward has. It's the closest reality-check you get to face or experience. With the kids, the surroundings are all so sweet and a little eased up, comparatively. It's toys and swings and cartoons painted on the wall (the government has done a fairly good job in providing for the same). There's a certain sense of happiness, even though partial or artificial, that keeps those patients and parents sane and happy, even if it is for a while throughout the day.

But that's not the case with the patients in the Paraplegia ward. There, the surroundings are dull, and typically reflect an old, uncared, government building. The patients are are grown up people. So talking to them is a challenge in itself. Since we're very young as compared to them, most of them wouldn't give a minnow for our concern. But after a lot of pestering and insistence on my side, we did pay a visit to the ward this time. And the visit there is a different kind of an eye opener in a way.

Both the wards work in respective ways to help us grow more as a person. Our regular visits to the Cancer ward paid off as the children had started recognising us. Parents enthusiastically welcome us and it is evident from the smile on their faces when we enter their room. Even downstairs, outside the doctor's office, where the kids who are in the process of healing, who don't stay at the hospital as they don't require further closely scrutinised care, and are there for regular check ups, remember us and welcome us with a smile on their face. We met one such girl this time. Her name's Tulsi, and she's 3-4 years old. She was downstairs, leaving for home. She saw us and gave a big smile. Even we remembered her from our past visits, when she was in one of the rooms, undergoing treatment. But now she was better, and had come for a check up. She was feeling a little shy, so she didn't talk much, but all the while she couldn't stop smiling. Her parents were elated on seeing us and were telling us how she was on her way to a speedy recovery.

Just the fact that she remembered us all made me so very happy. Even though it was no big a gesture. I feel that a cancer ward is the best place for a new volunteer to start off with. Cos even someone who's interested in being helpful by involving in such kind of activities but feels that he/she lacks the capacity or proper way of doing so, can benefit and learn by visiting this ward. The fact that it's the children who are suffering from such deadly disease can help create empathy even in people who generally can't empathize or wouldn't have been able to much, had it been an adult in a child's stead.

The Paraplegia ward, for me is a place everyone should visit once. Whenever I go there, I get more of a sense of satisfaction. I had talked about a deaf man in my previous post. He was still there in the ward when we went this time. And I told all my friends that he's the guy I had written about. There was something I had forgotten to mention that time. He's not only deaf, he can't speak also. So can't his wife and kids. The entire family suffers from the same problem. But when my friends saw him, they realised the spirit with which he embraced all his problems. The zest for life that he had, was clearly evident from his body language. This time it was his dad with whom I got a chance to talk to. He was recovering nicely after that surgery I had talked about last time. Now he could feel sensation in the leg, movement was clearly visible, and the exercises were to be started from the next week. Which again was a clear sign of good recovery. Slowly but steadily, he was going good. I asked his dad if still there's something we could do. And I realised his love for books, and asked him if he'd want more of those. Affirmation from him was obvious. So I'm in the process of collecting any written material I have which is in Gujarati.

Besides him, there were loads of other patients. Some who didn't want to talk, some who had lost all hope, some who were doing good, some who didn't understand one bit of what the doctor said, some who were taking is strongly and some who didn't have anyone besides them. They were all alone. We tried to talk to many of them. Let me give it to you, it's really tough talking to them. But then, we have to do it. In the ladies ward, I asked my female colleagues to do the talking as females are more comfortable opening up to females. Then we left the hospital and headed back to the RC Center.

And like every time, I could feel this sudden shift. There's such a stark contrast in the worlds; the one in the hospital, and the one outside it. Inside, you experience pessimism, problems, suffering, care, neglect, hope, survival, endurance and many such other feelings; and the moment you step out of the campus, you're forced into the other facet of the real world, where the people are too busy with their own selves to even think or experience what we did just a few minutes ago. You see the pedestrians vying for space to walk, traffic policemen catching the offenders and arguing with them, the roadside vegetable vendors shouting bargains, the milkman struggling with his bicycle, two vehicle drivers arguing after a minor accident, school children stuffed into a rickshaw heading towards their school, the workers ferrying goods to earn their meagre square meals, the sweeper doing the "so-called" cleaning act (all he does is to shift dust from one side to the other and blow up a part of it in the air), and even you yourself jostling for space to drive on the road.

All this makes you think whether such people do even have time to think of the lesser-fortunate people, leave aside spending time with them. But then, you also know that you're a part of it as soon as you enter the realm of the outside world. And if you do, then so must others. But in a way, it feels good and fortunate to be a part of this side of the campus than the other, to be fortunate enough to be able to walk ourselves to our destination, and in the meantime use our hands to do other work rather than push our wheel-chair, to be able to eat with our own hands, to be able to run around, play, do masti, drive, talk....; in short, lead a normal life.

But then what makes you realize that you're fortunate??? It's the very visits that you have made to the hospital so far, and seen it all yourself. You've learnt to appreciate the smallest of gestures and the smallest of your abilities on a grander scale. You learn to enjoy the bad roads because at least you're fortunate enough to drive on them; you learn to enjoy cleaning your room b'cos at least you have your own room, your own house; you learn to enjoy the pile of clothes waiting to be ironed, b'cos at least you've got so many good clothes to wear. But apart from the learning, it's the feeling that people want you there, which is evident from the way they welcome us every time, that makes you want to work towards this cause more and more.

I'm sure everyone in our group feels the same. And with more of our friends joining in, the activity has assumed a larger interest than before. Things are going good as of now. More details later. That is if some story or incident inspires me enough to share it with you guys, and take us into whole new direction of things. Peace Out...