Kakinada: A Tale Of Psuedo City

I told Aishwarya on a mail how I've ended up in Kakinada, and then I got her reply about how she googled Kakinada and found a few facts about this "city". I've replied with regards to my experiences. thought I might share it with you guys as well.

This is what she researched on the internet and sent it across to me:

Wikipedia:

* Kakinada is known as Second Madras. The original city that includes the central business district is a well planned city that is divided in several grids with main roads that are straight and are parallel which run across the city.

* Kakinada is famous for Cinema halls

* Kakinada is famous for the sweet named "Kakinada Kaaja "

* Kakinada is famous for Good Restaurants.

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My reply:

Well, techies are the ones who are actually sent on remote locations. the core techies that is. not the IT kinds. IT ppl get the plush offices. mechanical, civil, ppl from oil field have to work in remote locations most of the times. that's how their job is generally.

And after reading the Wikipedia's info over KKD, I was laughing my ass of. I'll give you some clear facts, now that I'm living here

1) 2nd Madras?? no ways. There're only 3 showrooms of clothes as of now and they have all the old fashioned, rejected from metros, kinda stuff. Not worth it. It's Madras in a sense that it has a port (which is loosing business these days), the humidity levels are equal, the localites don't know Hindi or English and food is a problem.

2) Roads are divided into grids, true. But it's not like Chandigarh or Gandhinagar. The sectors are not properly demarcated over here. Every other plot is filled with stagnant water pools, invaded by pigs n piglets (awful lot these days. seems like their breeding season just passed by).

3) Most of the roads (well, can't even call them roads) don't have a coal tar layer on them. So it's a camel ride in a car, and walking you can guess. 1 step up, 1 step into some caving. These so called roads are covered by dense thick bushes from both the sides that come onto the road like they shall gobble you in as well if you stood their longer. Oh, and if you don't walk with your head down, you might end up in some cow or buffalo shit.

4) If you pass thru' those roads at night (in your heydays here) sometimes the bushes shake violently and a weird kinda loud roaring sound comes and a pig runs out grunting, only to scare the shit out of you. And that has happened twice. But now I've got used to that roaring sound. Shocking to hear that pigs don't just grunt. Seems that sound is made only when the pigs are fighting or something. Anwyays, so, that's one thing.

5) Telugu is funny. Randi means aao ji (calling someone with respect) and rape means tomorrow. Pappu means dal. If you say "Rape randi with pappu". it means "come tomorrow wil dal ji." Need I say more!?!?!

6) Famous Restaurants!! Sure if you like to eat "oil ki sabji" and sweet naan. Well, normally people put oil in vegetable, here they put vegetable (as toppings or for garnishing) in oil when they cook. The south indian restaurants might be good but what do the south Indians generally eat?? Dosa, idli and rice!!! What's special about making simple rice??? The Dosas were decent though I agree. But that's just once in a while you wanna eat them.

7) Cinema Halls!! 35 as of now. Only one or two of them put up Hindi movies. And that too all the pathetic ones. like Ek, Tasveer, etc. Rest are all "Yanna Rascala" type telugu movies where hero is larger than life, who can jump up and down the mountains. Yes, MOUNTAINS!!! That's what I've heard. And the names are so weird, I don't bother remembering them. Least interested. SRK movies work for a period of three weeks or more. Rest all hardly stay for two weeks. I haven't been to any of those till now so cant comment on the quality of crowd, seats, sound, which I'm pretty sure will be average at max.

8) Here, there're hell lot of sweets. And most of the names end with "loo". And the ones I've tasted are bad. Will try this Khaaja one you've mentioned.

9) The private oil & gas companies have inflated the prices of everything. The localites are having a tough time. So are the people like us from govt. organizations. Tthe maid doesn't talk anything less than 1000 a month for just the brooming and mopping. Clothes is extra. And ironing also you've to pay wherever you give them.

10) Pathetic houses also charge no less than 2000 bucks a person. Some people who had lot of land here got lucky n rich overnight. Hence they are the kinds who are enjoying.

11) Kakinada has a hell lot of educational institutions, and some really good ones. yet I've not seen a single good looking girl so far. It's a desert in that sense as well.

12) Temperatures swell upto 52º C in May end - June first week. And no matter how cloudy it is, you will still be dripping with sweat. The heat never comes down. If you are used to drinking, then the only respite you have is the wine shop. There's no such thing as a night life here.

13) I've been to restaurants where families come, the husband goes off to sleep in the restaurant, the wife feeds herself and her bunch of kids, who are all busy doing masti, crying, shouting, etc. Then the "head of the family" gets up, pays the bill and they leave. What a wonderful family time together!!!!


Ohhh!!!! Did I mention I stay in the most posh area in Kakinada???